Quantum of Solace

I'm way behind, so I just got a chance to see the new James Bond movie, Quantum of Solace [imdb.com].


The movie picks up right from where the previous movie (Casino Royale [imdb.com]) left off, so if you don't remember the plot of that movie, you're going to be lost in some parts.

The movie felt like just a string of chase scenes, with barely a hint of plot in between them. There was a chase in just about every kind of vehicle you could find. This sounds like a good thing, but it really projects this feeling that the writers have underestimated the viewers -- as if we wouldn't be interested in anything cerebral. You're left with the trite action movie cliches that you see in just about every other movie -- people dangling off buildings, car chases, and a bunch of bad guys who fire tons of bullets but can't seem to actually hit anything with their guns.

The action scenes are also shot really poorly. They're shot really close up, and the view switches between cameras so quickly that it is really difficult to understand what is going on. There are several action scenes where you can barely even figure which guy in a dark suit is Bond.

That being said, there were some pretty incredible action scenes and special effects. And most of the movie was fun to watch. It just could have been so much better. You would be better off waiting to rent this movie than to see it in the theaters.

Picture of Quantum of Solace premiere ticket via montini's Flickr photostream [flickr.com].

IOUSA and Autocross

• Tonight, you can see showings of the documentary I.O.U.S.A. [agorafinancial.com] at locations all over the country. Here's a description of the movie:

  "I.O.U.S.A. boldly examines the rapidly growing national debt and its consequences for the United States and its citizens..."
  
  "The ultimate power of I.O.U.S.A. is that the film moves beyond doomsday rhetoric to proffer potential financial scenarios and propose solutions about how we can recreate a fiscally sound nation for future generations."



• Heimlich took some incredible shots at an autocross event last weekend. Here are a selection:
  
  
  
  More pictures on Flickr [flickr.com].

Toyota's i-real

Have you guys seen articles [jidpo.or.jp] about Toyota's new concept vehicle, the i-REAL?


How can anyone look at that and NOT think of those fat people in the movie WALL-E [imdb.com]?

For those of you who haven't seen the movie (this isn't really a spoiler), everyone in the future is fat and lazy, and spend all day being transported around on hover chairs so that they never have to actually get up and move around. It looks like all you would have to do is add a TV screen to the i-REAL, and you'd be there.

Oh, by the way, Toyota... Congratulations on taking the "worst car name EVAR" award away from the Subaru B9 Tribeca [edmunds.com], which has been the reigning champion for 4 years now.

Anyway, here is a short description about the i-REAL:

"It is the attainable vision of a seamless movement from room, to pavement, to road. In pedestrian areas, shortening its wheelbase allows it to maneuver naturally among people at eyelevel. And on the road, the wheelbase lengthens to provide a lower center of gravity and more agile driving performance."

Pet Videos

Heather Armstrong recently posted a hilarious movie [dooce.com] of her dogs. Basically, she put their food dishes in front of them, but had them wait for the ok signal to start eating. One dog patiently sits there and waits for the ok signal, while the other dog keep alternating between looking at the food and looking at the owner. You can almost hear the gears turning in the dog's head.

Heimlich and I keep noticing these hilarious things that our fish do. And I have thought about trying to record video of these kinds of events happening (a la one of our fish imprisoning another one of our fish), but I always assume that everyone will find it boring to watch.

But whenever I see videos of other people's pets doing interesting things, I'm always interested in seeing them, so I don't know why I would assume that people wouldn't want to see movies of our fish.

Realistic Action Movies

This weekend, I rented Man on Fire [imdb.com], with Denzel Washington (as in, the movie contained Denzel Washington. I didn't mean to imply that BFF Denzel and I rented a movie together this weekend).

Anyway, whenever I see an action movie these days, I end up getting kind of fed up at how formulaic and unrealistic they are. I mean, c'mon... Ever action movie has to contain one female lead, who looks like a model and who the protagonist inevitably falls in love with? Or the main character has some crackpot theory which no one believes (and they have no evidence to support), and they are vindicated in the end? They all seem like they have the same plot.

Then it occurred to me that they might be better than the alternative. I mean, what if they really did create an action movie that was realistic for my life? I would come up with some crackpot theory that no one would believe, and then you would find out at the end that I was just totally wrong the whole time.

We'd have to work in a scene where the female lead is dangling over the edge of a cliff (or out of a helicopter) or something, and one of my hands is the only thing keeping her from falling. Except that I haven't worked out in a decade, so I have no upper body strength, and she would end up dying (which is fine, because she thought that I was a creepy asshole in the first place).

At the end, there would be a standoff between me and the antagonist. The tension builds until I arrive at the antagonist's house and try to kick in the door. But after the 8th kick, I would decide that it would probably be easier to throw a rock through a window and climb in.

I would then run through the antagonist's house, guns in both hands ablazing, and trip while running up the steps. Then there would be a slow motion action scene where I am twisting my ankle and falling down, but still trying (and failing) to shoot at the antagonist. I would end up hitting myself in the face with one of the guns, and realize that this isn't working and give up. In the final scene, I would be skulking home in my '92 Toyota Tercel.

Hobbit-Man: The King Returns

On kottke.org the other day [kottke.org], I caught a link to one of the most hilarious reviews [thenoiseboard.com]. It's of the last Lord of the Rings movie, and it's so crude and lowest denominator-ish, but it made me laugh.

I would think that it would be harder to really appreciate the review if you weren't a fan of Lord of the Rings, though. Here's a quote (does this really warrant a spoiler warning?):

"At the same time, the two other midget-men and the giant hippies have seriously fucked up that one evil guy’s tower (he was Count Duke in Star Wars: Every Cock in the Universe Up My Ass Part II), and they hook back up with Magneto, and also that chick with the bow and arrows and finally the Giant Midget with the Axe."

Holy shit. I guess it really does not take much to make me laugh.